How I Hope to Be Remembered


I recently attended a celebration of my aunt Lorraine’s life. The ways in which she was honored lit a fire under me and caused me to contemplate how I want to be remembered…

Aunt Lorraine left an impression on her community that I deeply strive for, stories about her early days as a single mother of four back in the day when divorce was kept quiet. Now that I am a single mother, I call on her spirit daily and I feel her reassurance.


As an adult I met my aunt Lorraine when she invited me to a Frank Sinatra party; I was lonely at my first job after college and she invited me to a mansion. When I arrived my Aunty had a cocktail in one hand and was slow dancing by herself, the drink in her hand sloshing over the sides of her champagne flute.

At her memorial, her essence was palpable. An urge to embrace the ONENESS I feel when I conjure her image is easily carried out through tree hugging. When it’s my time to leave my physical body my dream is to have a row of cherry trees planted so when my sons miss me I am only a hug away…


Something magical happened during my stay with Lorraine’s grandsons. I had never met my cousins before, turns out one of them, Zane Roegiers, is a rap artist. He showed me his first music video shot under the Golden Gate Bridge (you can hear it at I was so deeply inspired by him that I came home and started fantasizing about the kinds of songs I hope to write. Song writing has been elusive thus far, however, however now I have a template. I may or not be remembered for my soulful lyrics, but no matter, music will always be my calling card. It is my hope that I will be remembered through song and dance and thoughtful prayer.


As we held hands at my family gathering, silly stories about Lorraine kept us in celebration mode.


I can feel feel my aunt’s presence anytime I dance by myself or bend over to smell a flower on my path.
I feel grateful to have more time to contemplate the quote I would want to leave this planet with. At the church service we were all given this gorgeous one to remember Lorraine by and I think about it every day:

“Be thankful for a lot of things, the things that people do or that you do. Be glad that you were able to do something for someone, whether or not they show their gratitude.”



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